not anymore

suddenly feels everything turned out quite well actually, much more better than i expected.. 

well from what happened until now, i really tired of it.. i really need to take a break on everything.. i choose to slow down my works, do not pushed myself too hard although still problems keep on coming and all the critics are very harsh; for eden plan still on going but haven go into details yet, wait till they finalize everything then only inform me, or perhaps some suggestions, just let them go ahead what they want; and i've spend more time with my family these 3 days, feels so good actually, just sit there quietly and the way mum and dad looking at me like a small kids, grandma getting better day by day, hired a lady to come and look after her; shocked that bff have the same case with me in the relationship, luckily i stayed beside her and comfort her; for him i guess i've letting it go bits by bits, which is good, but still will miss him more than last time :( sorry doesnt mean anything, i'll just let it be for the time being.. 

suddenly many people come and shared their stories with me, which i'm glad to be the listener, i wasnt expect i'll give any advice to them but it seems i'm still very clear on the position and they accept it :) proud of it eh.. ke ke.. i'm still learning to become a better person and not to blame on anything that happened to me, i know there're still peoples who care about me and i dont want to disappoint them, am trying very hard.. :)

guess i need some excitement! (aiks, makes me think of sexcitment -.-") party?club?drinking session?movie marathon? hmm guys plan something! no shopping for me cause i really broke this month.. urgh! overspend already by buying 3 dresses, 1 pc of skirt, 1 pair of heels, & 1 belt that easily cost me more than 600 bucks! must control this time!

i need more happy pictures to post up here, let see what's left in my photo album folder which i haven been post up.. he he.. 

till then!

untitled

***********

i've decided to drop this post, it's kinda useless btw.. 

to letting everyone knows about my life..

well actually i felt released after letting everything out! phew~

one more thing that i've realized today,

i really cant live without internet!

happy friday plus dina's wedding

well it seems i wrote this post with a terrible mood here, but after looking all the happy happy pictures and colorful outfits it cheer me up a lil.. need to post up all my pending post.. he he..

well it was a fri, and everytime when it's fri i just loving it, cause it's the end of the weekdays but now it's different, i kinda hate it now! cause i hafta work on weekends! okay work aside, pictures time (more camwhore pic to die for.. ha ha)

okay we camwhore gao gao in the off early in the morning!

just show me enough ok, i dunwan to post gene punya pictures here.. ha ha.. u can find all her pictures in her facebook :p

driving also wan to camwhore.. aiks.. this is me going out for lunch in my cute lil kenari, both very matching ler, yellow n gold.. ke ke..

okay this was me after arrived at the dewan serbaguna in ttdi, we're too early!

with pretty bosses!

so since we're the earliest we just sit at our table chit chatting and even take job brief on the spot.. ke ke.. workaholic i shall said.. then finally the couple came in!


this was my 1st time attended a malay wedding, it's quite interesting! sorry for the blurry pic!

so after all the speeches and doa.. we all finally start makan.. ha ha.. guess what, that time was 9pm and everyone was starving, luckily we sat at vip table and food is served infront of us.. if not we've to beratur to take food (ala buffet style)..

then after makan it was cake cutting time, they both looks so lovely!

abit bored so decided to camwhore again, i guess all also sick of us camwhoring non stop.. ha ha..

the very recent me! hair was so long now and been trimmed and colored! nice? loving it so much, thanks to my personal hair stylist, my mama! ha ha.. come n drop by to her salon, tell her my name and you got a special discount ;) too bad my skin now is torturing me! not as flawless as before and dark circles getting bigger! this picture cant tell cause i've put on make up and some photoshop skills.. haha

congratulations to both of u again! hugs!


that's how my last friday turned out..
oh ya forgot to mention i've meet the cyy cousin for a lunch date! ha ha.. buy him lunch as the late birthday present..

note to cousin bro: next time bring gf come n meet me k.. and dont bring virus back from penang ar.. kill u.. have a nice chat with you though.. give me more advice! ha ha..

****on random****
been crazily over this 2 days! and i'm hating my life! turning upside down like nobody else.. aih.. no one could hear me and even cant share the pain inside my heart, felt so down actually.. :( i dont understand why you've changed these few days.. you seems to avoid me now.. or i'm thinking too much? i'm sorry for not being thr when you're down.. damn.. i've been so suffer for this week.. never had this feeling before and so stressed up.. even worst than last time when everything cramp up.. blame to pms! urgh lagi suffer! damn damn damn.. i hate my life!

stress again!

seems like all the problems keep coming on non-stop, i'm so sick and so stressed on it.. i wonder if i'm paralize then i wont suffer from all this kind of pains.. urgh.. i think i shouldnt write this emo post again but only words could let me to rant out and release my stress.. omg i sounds like a problem girl here! too many stuff to be done yet i only have a pair of hand, a heart to feel and a brain to think!

i wish someone could hear me now.. i'm so damn stress.. although i hangover last night and tried to skipped all the reality that i've, but still i'm facing it everyday, things cant be change, am so scared that all the things that happened on me.. sometimes i wonder how i want to stay strong in the family, and in my career, i actually do care how people look on me, my expectation are way too high i think.. i'm the eldest and i have the responsiblity, even work also i'm handling all by myself..

grandma please stand strong, everyone in the family been working hard to take care of you, and for my career i dont mind i puts in alot of efforts but at least i need some compliments, true to be tell that i no longer have the passion anymore like last time, but still my goal is always there! i wont give up on what ever i've and the position i'm in now..

bad luck are turning back again.. feels like i'm thinking too much already when i slow down or just taking a break from my heavy workloads.. why ar? i guess only keep myself busy is the only way i've to skipped all the stress.. damn!

miracles

can u spot there's actually 2 rainbow in the sky? taken this shot while i was driving back home and stuck in traffic jams (i'm a safe driver ar.. keke)

so many things wanted to tell but i just dont know how to tell out and it's still very complicated.. things are not that i thought so easily and so simple! well it's still the time that matters, am trying not to think about it but still it'll stuck in my mind every single moment.. guess i'm too into it already? mixed feeling and i dont know what should i react for now! should i just let it go or just continue on what we've now.. i cant control the things that happened between us and i just wanted to let you know how i felt.. only god knows what will happened next and i'm trying to overcome my emotions and frustration.. am hoping for miracles as i always be.. will this time miracles happen on me again? 

grandma was admitted to hospital 2 days back.. so worried about her health conditions as she getting weaker n weaker by days.. i was so sad to see her suffering in the hospital, she misses home so much! was in hospital visiting her for 2 days and she seems she's slowly get well from her sickness.. now i realized how important health is and need to take it seriously.. i guess i need to cut down all my unhealthy life style and be more stronger person, cant always fall sick like last time, am so scared of it, especially the asma that i've..

oh and my trip are finally back.. last time was scheduled to go krabi by mid aug, due to swine flu hafta cancelled it and yesterday just out of sudden fay asked me if i wanted to go hk next year, airasia got free seats again.. so finger cross this time i'm able to go for my long awaited trip!

ok i'm awake now and need to get my things done!

till then..

s6 gathering

finally wai lee back from uk and we've got back our terminal or i shall said is the most comfortable place for us to have gathering, beside's tiong hoe's house.. ha ha.. it's been awhile since we had gathering, tien just got back from aus, wai lee back for summer holidays, keong and soon onn back from uk as well, but too bad tiong hoe, chiao chuin n hwa khang couldn't join us! they're still in aus, and you jing was in spore training.. bad timing huh..

but we still have fun time! he he.. that's our s6 spirit! actually we've already meet up during weekdays for a simple dinner and then wai lee invited us back to her crib to have steamboat.. ah kinda miss those days we always hang out in wai lee's house and we even passed out in her room too! phew that was long time ago and finally back to our terminal once again!

the woman who used to sit next to me during high school! xineeeee!

wai lee (the host) and xin yee

boon and tien

part of s6-ian

and a happy family photo.. guess wat..

when i first upload to facebook, you jing the 1st person to comment about this group photo and he even TAG himself in this photo-as a wine bottle! LOL he may not in there but his spirit is always be with us.. ha ha.. kaki botol!

me and my kor kor, faster get married with dai sou ok! :p

wai lee and boon, best sista

boon complained she looks nicer with this angle and take another shot again -.-"

us girls

so ngam all wear yellow color! is the in color now!

hon keong was kepoh wan to stuck in to take pix, soon onn lagi kepoh! chatting with gf on phone also sibuk want to take picture.. ke ke

the guys, from left, yew tong, soon onn, hon keong and shee hoe

us girls again!

me and boon, okay no need to purposely bend down to take picture with me!


after that we bid good bye to wai lee who flew back to uk few days later.. it's been long time never had this moment like this before! hoping for more gathering! tiong hoe we're waiting for you to come back and we rule your new house again! ha ha.. is good that we could still keep in touch since we left high school so long.. and now everyone are graduating and start working ady.. some still stay at overseas further studies, phew.. time flies and we all grown up! let see if i could dig some of our old times photo..

*****
yea gt some old time photos here that i grab from friendster/facebook/watsoever our website.. keke..

let's see what we've changed for the pass 5 years!

this was taken for our final year school book!
guess where am i!
oh and the creative club activity room still thr! still remembered i was the president of the club! so proud of it.. haha..

and this one taken after the graduation ceremony! phew my memory wasnt bad huh.. and they're wearing the t-shirt that i design! so proud!! am still keeping them nicely ler..

this was taken erm.. before our drama start, still doing rehearsal..

this also taken during rehearsal for our graduation ceremony..

i guess this was the 1st gathering we had after graduate from high school! wai lee's hse!

it brings back alot of memories! damn i miss the moment already! but i believe s6 spirit are still there with us no matter how far we are! now the most concern part among us is who will get married 1st! ha ha.. same o' topic each time when we meet up! guess now i'm not the 1st neither 2nd! lol.. *hint hint* kor faster proposed to dai sou or xine faster ask ur rich bf to marry u! ha ha..

it's complicated!

things getting real serious here and i need to rewind back the incidents that happened to me! mixed feeling are suffering, and the worst part is i'm down with sick.. urgh! why la everything happened just out of sudden, is it because life are full of surprises and when it come you cant even stop it or ignore it.. being so emo here and at the same time felt so dizzy now, work not done and cant even concentrate on the stuff that i'm doing, i'm lost actually!

sometimes i wonder if it's good to have more and more unexpected things that happened in just a short period and it sparks, becoming part of my life and start to enjoy every single moment that i've.. as i know i need to enjoy my life to the fullest!

i'm not complaining.. i'm just feel like things had changed totally, i dont know myself anymore for the past and i'm now starting to like my new life.. guess miracles does happened on me! if i couldnt take it please forgive me and give me some times, i really wants to makes things worked out perfectly! as i cant expect what will happened to me next! really, that's been happened on me for the pass few weeks i shall said.. things are changing and so do i!

ok i guess i'm too sick already and i started to rambling again.. really need some good rest now! back to reality and start working la carmen! damn!

ps: trip got cancelled! damn upset! 

pps: happy belated birthday to my bro! it's been awhile since we had back the family dinner feel again.. felt so great!

ok i'm so sick right now! feel so dizzy, please dont got scared if you bump into me with terrible pale face and messy hair and cocky eyes! duh.. i'm looking soooo bad today! urgh!

blogging from genting!

woohoo.. i'm in coffee bean genting now!

damn syiok, weather is so damn cold and chilling!

such a great holiday eve i have here!

never expect i'll be in genting at this time..

it's 5.30am now!

woohoo!

feel like wanna shout out loud!!!

happy labour day!

edited (with photos!)