where's my soul?

i felt so blank again.. like my soul not in my body and my spirit is not with me, guess hard work again.. recaps on the things that i've done:

- sat morning back to office to work, until 3pm then back to eden, at night had dinner with family (finally) and back to eden again

- sun morning served 3 customers for photo shooting, afternoon was helping out on shooting and do some document stuffs, evening went to pyramid with hiki to hunt for heels (i was so desperate to get a new pair of shoes) then night went supper with chai n hiki

- mon back to work as usual, rush rush rush, make calls, make changes, email, talk to boss.. whole day freaking busy, got feedback from client and change artwork again.. worked until 12.30am (damn scary alone in the office), and missed the appointment with the model to try gown..

- tues woke up early and head to eden (take an off day) to shot for samples, busy packing stuff and help out, head to ulu yam for outdoor shooting, climbing here and there, walking around.. and helping model to carry her gown (and carrying tissue around), too bad it's started to rain when it's halfway photo shooting, no choice, head back to eden and shot at studio, finished at 11.30pm

- wed (today) rush work again, but after lunch time abit free, got new job brief, brainstorm for 1 hour, research, download series awhile, office got big issue happened, but staff meeting postpone to next week.. since so long didnt have wip, leave office at 6 something, arrived eden, do some stuff, head back home for dinner (i miss my mum's cooking) and watch series.. now here typing all this shits..

aiks.. hectic week again! my half of the week has gone and tml is thurs, time passed so fast! and next week will get my salary.. phew..

my face now looks damn ugly and damn sick due to lack of sleeps and unbalance meals.. now after having my meals i still think it's not full enough and when i skipped my meals i dont feel hungry.. weird.. my body system is changing into an unhealthy life style! damn..

mind still blank and blur.. dunno which steps i should move now.. guess now i need to goto bed to get some sleeps ady, if not i'll still stuck here but dunno what am i typing..

life's getting tougher! challenge is always there, but i'm scared i cant handle it!
nights people!

miss independent

the current song that played in my itune playlist.. by ne-yo

dear june wai, 

please dont be childish anymore, you want me to let go that easily? and find my dream? nah u know how much of efforts i've put in eden, and how many hard work that i've done! i'm not scared to let go but it's not worth it for me! please, it's not the matter of you and me anymore, last time i joined eden because i supported you, but now is you yourself don't want to get into this business anymore, you want blame who? and now for me my target is to earn money, as much as possible for my age now, if i don't work hard then where will i get the money to further my studies? i don't see any problem if i still in eden, at least i know my position, but you? sorry to say that, i know well and what's going on in eden, solving all our problems with your friend, you got it right, it's your friend but not mine, all the partners are your friend! but now, they're close friend of mine, we shared everything together, working so hard together and believe each other that we can do it! but why you still can't get our point.. i don't want to stress out on you already, you know your way to make your decision..

and i'm now strong enough to protect myself, i'm the miss independent! he he

***

random notes again..

feel lonely again n again? well, at least i'm at your side, do not fear anything, let me know all your problems, shared together and you'll feel bless that you can have people to hear from your problems.. no worries, everything will be fine, just let it be.. :) and i'm happy that you trusted me for everything and i hope you'll get your happiness real soon! my shoulder is always there for you but i know you can overcome all your problems.. i wonder how did we started our friendship.. i couldn't remember and so does you, maybe this is our faith to get together! really hope that all your bad lucks will gone and the brighter side will stay for you! let me spread some of my good luck to you eh.. he he

and i've some weird feeling in my heart.. wonder when can i find out what's actually the emotion came from.. hmm.. seems that i've been too pressure for myself and didn't let go my stress.. 

xmas is around the corner! i guess this year is a silence festive for me! someone please plan for xmas party! i want back my festive mood that i had like previous year, i feel so blank for this coming festive seasons.. not in the mood eh..

guess i need to list down my xmas wish list already.. hehe

omg! why am i still thinking on chai's botak hairstyle! opps.. hope he don't kill me when he saw this, it's really funny la! muahahaha.. i'm sorry chai.. lol

it's friday people!

yong tao fu tonight! :p

it feels like tonight

food post again!
ngek ngek.. so beware of those drooling pictures coming up next! but mostly is faces! lol..

this little place that we discover no longer ago, 1st time i was here with my family for dinner then i bring my friends wherever they're at puchong area.. it's the spot of having a good yong tao foo rather then goto ampang's famous shop.. here i present to you (sounds so proud huh) the infamous yong tao fu shop at puchong utama, just opposite han ming primary school, beg the residents at puchong sure know where's the place for the good food!

actually there have 2 shop of yong tao fu which just located not far from each other, just a few shops away and both of them are relatives (that's what i heard from the rumors) dont understand why they want to separate it but the food is same and delicious too! hehe..



with whole lots of food for both of us! ha ha..

what we have: rendang chicken drumstick (it's a must!), paper wrapped chicken wing, fried fu chok, fried dumpling, chili, tao fu and assorted yong tao fu! plus 2 cups of herbal tea! syiok!


but she still not satisfied! haha

feels like eating again tonight! who wants to join? he he..

***

random

today when i woke up, my mind was totally blank and blur, and dont know what should i do! bah! seems like i've used to it in my lifestyle ady.. sometimes i wonder what's my goal in my life now.. less than 2 months 2008 will end and a brand new year is coming towards.. what's my resolution again? and what's my short term and long term goal?

hmm guess i need to write down my resolution for 2009 and recaps what have i done in 2008! it's simply amazed me that time flies real fast and i dont want to waste anymore time to achieve my goal (but in reality that's hard! i really really wish to get my degree or master in states) but as long as i grow older (wtf i'm 22 only) and with 2 years of working experience now it kinda changed my mind again! now i really dont know what i want anymore! "creative director in international agency" doesnt seems to attract me anymore :( and "the world of design where carmen meets creativity" not applied to me now since i've bored of doing this creative thingy! so what the hell i want? can somebody please show me the way i should go?

things come in a sudden and passed without a single alert, well i guess this is what we called challenge in our life! and what i fear the most now, i'm losing my personality infront of friends and family! few days back mum was asking me to let go eden! i was shocked! again she still not supporting me! if i could i wished to turn back and not to suffer in this situation! argh hard decision again! kill me!

life still goes on...

yoko yoko!

i know i'm so late to post joshua's bday picture here, but better than nothing right? he he..

it was a saturday night and after having dinner with family hiki called me to accompanied her to kl for hokkien mee (need to kill some times 1st), and we walked around bintang street since i haven been there for quite some time..

the hawkers at jalan alor is so crowded!

and the infamous hokkien mee! yum yum!

and we went to mcd for dessert!

she hates pink! ngek ngek!

and so, we thought of leaving kl city because it's quite late already and started to rain.. we ran back to our car and start engine! hiki quite disappointed cause she wants to introduce her friends & her cousin to me (this was the trick to pull me down to kl!) i was kinda tired that time since i woke up early to jaga shop! (oh there's a story i wanna tell but kinda embarrassed! decided to drop it.. hehe) so she called her cousin and told him that we'll be going back home but suddenly he said they've just arrived.. so i guess dont wan to disappoint hiki we off the engine and walk back to bintang walk to meet her cousin and friends.. long story telling eh..

meet hiki's cousin!

i'm the fashion spy! credits to hiki for all the photos!

spotted!




at yoko's!

captured!

this is the killer of the night!

tiny little cold sake..

meet my new friends!


happy birthday joshua!

may all your wishes come true..



some story telling by joshua that make us LOL

my face become tomato again! *shy*





best buddies in da house!

more and more shots! non stop.. haha






getting crazy..

and crazier..

no eyes see! haha

ok back to normal pose..





glad to meet a bunch of good friends hanging out together, all my stress and pressure has been released and i do enjoy it very much! getting to know more new friends around my circle is kinda interesting! i shall not stuck in my little dream land anymore! hehe.. it's great knowing u guys, understanding and caring, and most important u guys are really friendly and the jokes are not funny at all la! keke.. hard to catch the humor.. i'm dumb.. keke

more happy happy pictures filling up this blog! yay! it really makes my day!

quickie

yay, gene is back, miss her alot.. 

and i've been real busy for this weekend.. at eden gallery.. doing some random stuff at shop, filing all the documents, prepared the ribbons for the wedding car decorations, being a part time make up artist (yes! finally i learned make up, but not professional la) and a part time for hair styling (simple job for me eh! cause i know all the hair thingy since mum opened a salon), part time cleaner (i cleaned the toilet and the store room) ohmygod! hectic weekends! oh ya i've been doing part time personal stylist as well! keke.. but not customer service! i've been cursed in doing the marketing and strategy stuff.. that's kill all my brain cells!

the most important thing now is i need to layout an ad which is the deadline falls on 15 nov and now i've no clue on what concept to go on, perhaps just hard sell type cause we're only targeting on puchong area this time.. hmm and other doc things and design need to follow up too!

well i guess a busy day released all my stress and my anger in my heart which i dont dare to tell or cant find anyone to speak to.. i was really down for the pass few days.. and for today, monday blue in the office! rushing for jobs again as usual, and got discussion and briefing on new jobs again! guess i already used to it with my busy lifestyle! maybe i should plan for a holiday for myself? backpacking sounds interesting! hehe

i'm now taking a chill pill and hope it'll cure all my sickness!

wonder when will miracles happen to me! i really believes there's a light which shines on me!

signing off here,

carmen