I'm nobody

Hello world. I almost forgot I got a blog that need to be update. Long hiatus. Anyway dont bother to read it also because it's useless emo blog here, the place for me to rant out my emotions when I've nobody to talk to. I was er.. Feels so hopeless recently & I don't know what's the reason, perhaps it's the time for me to settle down? I mean I've settled down with my jobs, but what else Im worried about? I don't know. I've travelled alot last year and starting to travel again in this few months but I've nothing to shout about. I don't feel excited at all.. Actually I just wan to travel alone but I'm scared.. Bahh no use for me to talk more and repeating the same old problems I have. It doesn't mean anything to you all and so do I. I don't care what's going to happen next, I just want to spice up my life every second I have. Who knows the next seconds or next minute will be the worlds end? I doubt everyone now was planning on their future, but not me, I just wan a life that's truely mine and enjoy it. Sounds ridiculous right? I'm actually hoping for a better me, which I'm trying so hard to do it. Sometimes it doesn't reflects to what I need but what I want.. Confusing right.. I also not sure about myself too!

Let me update my life currently:
Family all good, bro just graduated but haven got a job yet. Family time getting more and more since bro moved back to house.
Work is all good, keep on learning, but sometimes feels so tired and irritating when jobs turned out to be a mess.. More than an one leg kick person in office sometimes could be good but sometimes not.. And I hafta stand it and hold it because it's my rice bowl for my living cost.
Relationship I dunno how to describe it, can't be expect too much and I hafta give more time to him. Alot of my friends is getting engaged or married but I don't think I'm in the right time yet.. I don't want to think for future.. As I already wrote it out at the 1st place.. Actually I still don't know what I want yet.. Hmm
Friends is now getting closer, spend more quality time for gathering and meet ups..
Business was going smooth but there's still some issue to sort it out, I'm not working 24/7 anymore.. I'm human and I deserved to rest.. Phew!

Well what goes around turns around, I'll try not to destroy it and live a better life that I could! Cheer up carmen! Everything will be alright!