how do u defined bff

i've post this status on my fb 2 days ago, and wondering what's bff for.. yea.. bff again.. in my case it's different story.. normally bff is the one who shares the joy & sadness with you, the one who understand you the most & also the person who knows what you're thinking..

urgh i dont know how to start the story between us, both of us knew each other for many years, and the click between us just happened like that, we've been doing alot of silly things together, girlie nightout, gossiping & also support each other. bah, i think it's all over now, i'm really really upset with her, i dont even know how to describe her now. just plain disappointment, and my heart breaks.. haih

i was so jealous and envy on those bff who really can get along so well, but not for me.. i know i have another bunch of best buddies, but still not close as you, you're just like my big sister, we share alot of things together, and we know what's thinking in our heart..

bah i dont want to find myself so suffering because of her, i have my own life, i still got a bunch of friends who can cheer me up every moments, my family who always support me :) wanna thanks harvey call me all the way from perth just to comfort me on that night, appreciate it alot and thanks to him :) i really lost and dunno what to do, i tried to find those happy memories between us again but still not enough to cover my sadness.

i dont know who shall i talk to.. i really need a shoulder now, my tears just couldnt hold, for what she meant to me and what had she done to me, you now can called me dump carmen just because i'm too emo on this, but think about it, it's what best friends for, not even for bf or husband, for me i'll put family & friends 1st, relationship may last long but family & friendship will last till you dead..

i'm truly truly upset with you, please dont come back to me anymore, i dont want to hurt myself again, i rather go and meet new friends, which i already do have a bunch of buddies even better than you! you're just too selfish, i'm not emo here, i dont want people to pity on me.. that's how i stand strong now..

i need a new bff, who wants to be my new bff :p