*emo*

surprisingly this is another emo post again.. i cant help to control myself.. i've cried for 2 days secretly.. i wonder why my tears will drop automatically.. things still going so badly.. i hardly control it.. and that's not under my control.. i'm stuck!

all i want to do now is to calm down and think of a solution.. i cant even concentrate on my jobs.. my jobs are rubbish this few days.. cant even pass my expectation.. i feel that i really tired on my jobs ady.. sometimes i just wish i quit my professions now.. argh!

maybe time is the best medicine for me.. anyone can cheer me up? or can i just pretend to live for a whole life.. i wonder.. am i ready to challenge for my life? hmm.. guess a really need a break from everything.. sometimes i like to stay alone.. shopping, watch tv, eating, driving.. i also know that i barely spare time with my family and dear.. each time when i back home from work i only saw my family for 1 hour plus then they go off to bed and the next morning they had gone to work earlier than me.. my dear even worst.. one week only can saw him maximum 2 times.. this is my life..

life still will going on as usual.. just that everything i see now is from different point of view ady.. i can feel that everything is not that simple as we thought.. or maybe i don't live with a simple life.. keke..

and i miss my friends so much, from primary school, secondary school and college friends.. now is ex colleagues.. and i miss my cousins! i wish i could back to my kids life so that my life is so simple, just eat and sleep.. keke.. just noticed that mostly my friends all are at overseas.. they are lucky to travel and study at oversea.. but i need to wait for my luck opportunity to get to study in us.. argh.. this is what i want for now! can someone sponsor me scholarship? haha..

i still stuck in my life although i write so many stuff ady.. emo emo.. i need to pick up a heavy responsibility to myself.. aih..

back to reality! *smack my head

need to rush my jobs now.. and stop emo.. keke..

p/s: i still worried u my dear, hope everything will be fine! *finger crossed